Ooh, look. Turkey and ham! That's nice. Cole slaw in a pretty dish! That's nice. Colorful frill picks! That's nice.
Take a bite. Chew.
Ugh! What is that? Whatever it is, it is not nice.
It turned out to be a chunk of gristle in the ham. Large, extensive region of gristle. I had to remove most of the ham--and this sandwich did not stint on the ham--to be sure to be rid of the gristle. And then, even with my club all but de-hammed, I was still cautious about taking a bite. What if I got another mouthful of that foul, chewy cartilage or connective tissue or whatever it is gristle is made of?
Did you know, prior to being the Ace of Clubs, I was a vegetarian for many years? I was. I've been back to meat-eating habits for a long time now, but I spent most of my teens as a veggie. And you know why? Gristle. (Yeah, also animal rights and nutrition and wanting to fit in with the cool neo-pseudo-hippie veggie kids, but mostly gristle avoidance.)
Even though the non-gristly portion of the club at What's Cookin' at Casey's was perfectly satisfactory, the feeling of gristle between my teeth and the sight of my eviscerated sandwich on my plate was almost enough to make me run screaming back into The Enchanted Broccoli Forest.